To many in that crowded solitude it came as an extraordinary relief. She ran 60 past it with melancholic dread towards the slope that led to the ocean. "Ah! you are there, my dear young lady," said the widow, smiling faintly; "when I first waken, I'm always in dread of finding myself again in that horrible asylum. ’ ‘Because I have never heard anything so ridiculous,’ Gerald announced. That wasn’t even the worst thing. She was never able to trace the changes her attitude had undergone, from the time when she believed herself to be the pampered Queen of Fortune, the crown of a good man’s love (and secretly, but nobly, worshipping some one else), to the time when she realized she was in fact just a mannequin for her lover’s imagination, and that he cared no more for the realities of her being, for the things she felt and desired, for the passions and dreams that might move her, than a child cares for the sawdust in its doll. But in the appendix of the dictionary she had discovered magic names—Hugo, Dumas, Thackeray, Hawthorne, Lytton. But indeed that is not at all a good description of her attitude.
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